Mulliner Nights (Mr. Mulliner Series, Book 3), by P. G. Wodehouse
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Mulliner Nights (Mr. Mulliner Series, Book 3), by P. G. Wodehouse
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[Read by Jonathan Cecil]A private detective who can make the guilty confess simply by smiling at them. An artist so intimidated by his morally impeccable cat that he feels compelled to wear formal attire at dinner. A devotee of Proust whose life is turned upside down when he inadvertently subscribes to a correspondence course on ''How to Acquire Complete Self-Confidence and an Iron Will.'' These are just a few of the many members of the eccentric Mulliner clan whose lives and exploits are laid before the regulars of the Angler's Rest by that doyen of raconteurs, Mr. Mulliner, in a series of tall stories in which lunacy and comic exuberance reign supreme.
Mulliner Nights (Mr. Mulliner Series, Book 3), by P. G. Wodehouse - Amazon Sales Rank: #4807641 in Books
- Published on: 2015-05-26
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 6
- Dimensions: .70" h x 5.20" w x 5.70" l,
- Binding: Audio CD
- 1 pages
Mulliner Nights (Mr. Mulliner Series, Book 3), by P. G. Wodehouse Review ''Wodehouse is the funniest writer--that is, the most resourceful and unflagging deliverer of fun--that the human race, a glum crowd, has yet produced.'' --Anthony Lane, The New Yorker ''The Mulliner stories are as loopy and majestic as anything that Wodehouse wrote.'' --The New Yorker
About the Author The author of almost a hundred books and the creator of Jeeves, Blandings Castle, Psmith, Ukridge, Uncle Fred and Mr. Mulliner, P.G. Wodehouse was born in 1881 and educated at Dulwich College. After two years with the Hong Kong and Shanghai Bank he became a full-time writer, contributing to a variety of periodicals including Punch and the Globe. He married in 1914. As well as his novels and short stories, he wrote lyrics for musical comedies with Guy Bolton and Jerome Kern, and at one stage had five musicals running simultaneously on Broadway. His time in Hollywood also provided much source material for fiction. At the age of 93, in the New Year's Honours List of 1975, he received a long-overdue knighthood, only to die on St Valentine's Day some 45 days later.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. 1THE SMILE THAT WINSThe conversation in the bar-parlour of the Angler's Rest had turned to the subject of the regrettably low standard of morality prevalent among the nobility and landed gentry of Great Britain.Miss Postlethwaite, our erudite barmaid, had brought the matter up by mentioning that in the novelette which she was reading a viscount had just thrown a family solicitor over a cliff.'Because he had found out his guilty secret,' explained Miss Postlethwaite, polishing a glass a little severely, for she was a good woman. 'It was his guilty secret this solicitor had found out, so the viscount threw him over a cliff. I suppose, if one did but know, that sort of thing is going on all the time.'Mr Mulliner nodded gravely.'So much so,' he agreed, 'that I believe that whenever a family solicitor is found in two or more pieces at the bottom of a cliff, the first thing the Big Four at Scotland Yard do is make a roundup of all the viscounts in the neighbourhood.''Baronets are worse than viscounts,' said a Pint of Stout vehemently. 'I was done down by one only last month over the sale of a cow.''Earls are worse than baronets,' insisted a Whisky Sour. 'I could tell you something about earls.''How about O.B.E.s?' demanded a Mild and Bitter. 'If you ask me, O.B.E.s want watching, too.'Mr Mulliner sighed.'The fact is,' he said, 'reluctant though one may be to admit it, the entire British aristocracy is seamed and honeycombed with immorality. I venture to assert that, if you took a pin and jabbed it down anywhere in the pages of Debrett's Peerage, you would find it piercing the name of someone who was going about the place with a conscience as tender as a sunburned neck. If anything were needed to prove my assertion, the story of my nephew, Adrian Mulliner, the detective, would do it.''I didn't know you had a nephew who was a detective,' said the Whisky Sour.Oh, yes. He has retired now, but at one time he was as keen an operator as anyone in the profession (said Mr Mulliner). After leaving Oxford and trying his hand at one or two uncongenial tasks, he had found his niche as a member of the firm of Widgery and Boon, Investigators, of Albemarle Street. And it was during his second year with this old-established house that he met and loved Lady Millicent Shipton-Bellinger, younger daughter of the fifth Earl of Brangbolton.It was the Adventure of the Missing Sealyham that brought the young couple together. From the purely professional standpoint, my nephew has never ranked this among his greatest triumphs of ratiocination; but, considering what it led to, he might well, I think, be justified in regarding it as the most important case of his career. What happened was that he met the animal straying in the park, deduced from the name and address on its collar that it belonged to Lady Millicent Shipton-Bellinger, of 18a, Upper Brook Street, and took it thither at the conclusion of his stroll and restored it.'Child's-play' is the phrase with which, if you happen to allude to it, Adrian Mulliner will always airily dismiss this particular investigation; but Lady Millicent could not have displayed more admiration and enthusiasm had it been the supremest masterpiece of detective work. She fawned on my nephew. She invited him in to tea, consisting of buttered toast, anchovy sandwiches and two kinds of cake; and at the conclusion of the meal they parted on terms which, even at that early stage in their acquaintance, were something warmer than those of mere friendship.Indeed, it is my belief that the girl fell in love with Adrian as instantaneously as he with her. On him, it was her radiant blonde beauty that exercised the spell. She, on her side, was fascinated, I fancy, not only by the regularity of his features, which, as is the case with all the Mulliners, was considerable, but also by the fact that he was dark and thin and wore an air of inscrutable melancholy.This, as a matter of fact, was due to the troublesome attacks of dyspepsia from which he had suffered since boyhood; but to the girl it naturally seemed evidence of a great and romantic soul. Nobody, she felt, could look so grave and sad, had he not hidden deeps in him.One can see the thing from her point of view. All her life she had been accustomed to brainless juveniles who eked out their meagre eyesight with monocles and, as far as conversation was concerned, were a spent force after they had asked her if she had seen the Academy or did she think she would prefer a glass of lemonade. The effect on her of a dark, keen-eyed man like Adrian Mulliner, who spoke well and easily of footprints, psychology and the underworld, must have been stupendous.At any rate, their love ripened rapidly. It could not have been two weeks after their first meeting when Adrian, as he was giving her lunch one day at the Senior Bloodstain, the detectives' club in Rupert Street, proposed and was accepted. And for the next twenty-four hours, one is safe in saying, there was in the whole of London, including the outlying suburban districts, no happier private investigator than he.Next day, however, when he again met Millicent for lunch, he was disturbed to perceive on her beautiful face an emotion which his trained eye immediately recognized as anguish.'Oh, Adrian,' said the girl brokenly. 'The worst has happened. My father refuses to hear of our marrying. When I told him we were engaged, he said "Pooh!" quite a number of times, and added that he had never heard such dashed nonsense in his life. You see, ever since my Uncle Joe's trouble in nineteen-twenty-eight, father has had a horror of detectives.''I don't think I have met your Uncle Joe.''You will have the opportunity next year. With the usual allowance for good conduct he should be with us again about July. And there is another thing.''Not another?''Yes. Do you know Sir Jasper Addleton, O.B.E.?''The financier?''Father wants me to marry him. Isn't it awful!''I have certainly heard more enjoyable bits of news,' agreed Adrian. 'This wants a good deal of careful thinking over.'The process of thinking over his unfortunate situation had the effect of rendering excessively acute the pangs of Adrian Mulliner's dyspepsia. During the past two weeks the ecstasy of being with Millicent and deducing that she loved him had caused a complete cessation of the attacks; but now they began again, worse than ever. At length, after a sleepless night during which he experienced all the emotions of one who has carelessly swallowed a family of scorpions, he sought a specialist.The specialist was one of those keen, modern minds who disdain the outworn formulæ of the more conservative mass of the medical profession. He examined Adrian carefully, then sat back in his chair, with the tips of his fingers touching.'Smile!' he said.'Eh?' said Adrian.'Smile, Mr Mulliner.''Did you say smile?''That's it. Smile.''But,' Adrian pointed out, 'I've just lost the only girl I ever loved.''Well, that's fine,' said the specialist, who was a bachelor. 'Come on, now, if you please. Start smiling.'Adrian was a little bewildered. 'Listen,' he said. 'What is all this about smiling? We started, if I recollect, talking about my gastric juices. Now, in some mysterious way, we seem to have got on to the subject of smiles. How do you mean -- smile? I never smile. I haven't smiled since the butler tripped over the spaniel and upset the melted butter on my Aunt Elizabeth, when I was a boy of twelve.'The specialist nodded.'Precisely. And that is why your digestive organs trouble you. Dyspepsia,' he proceeded, 'is now recognized by the progressive element of the profession as purely mental. We do not treat it with drugs and medicines. Happiness is the only cure. Be gay, Mr Mulliner. Be cheerful. And, if you can't do that, at any rate smile. The mere exercise of the risible muscles is in itself beneficial. Go out now and make a point, whenever you have a spare moment, of smiling.''Like this?' said Adrian.'Wider than that.''How about this?''Better,' said the specialist, 'but still not quite so elastic as one could desire. Naturally, you need practice. We must expect the muscles to work rustily for a while at their unaccustomed task. No doubt things will brighten by and by.'He regarded Adrian thoughtfully.'Odd,' he said. 'A curious smile, yours, Mr Mulliner. It reminds me a little of the Mona Lisa's. It has the same underlying note of the sardonic and the sinister. It virtually amounts to a leer. Somehow it seems to convey the suggestion that you know all. Fortunately, my own life is an open book, for all to read, and so I was not discommoded. But I think it would be better if, for the present, you endeavoured not to smile at invalids or nervous persons. Good morning, Mr Mulliner. That will be five guineas, precisely.'On Adrian's face, as he went off that afternoon to perform the duties assigned to him by his firm, there was no smile of any description. He shrank from the ordeal before him. He had been told off to guard the wedding-presents at a reception in Grosvenor Square, and naturally anything to do with weddings was like a sword through his heart. His face, as he patrolled the room where the gifts were laid out, was drawn and forbidding. Hitherto, at these functions, it had always been his pride that nobody could tell that he was a detective. To-day, a child could have recognized his trade. He looked like Sherlock Holmes.To the gay throng that surged about him he paid little attention. Usually tense and alert on occasions like this, he now found his mind wandering. He mused sadly on Millicent. And suddenly -- the result, no doubt, of these gloomy meditations, though a glass of wedding champagne may have contributed its mite -- there shot through him, starting at about the third button of his neat waistcoat, a pang ...
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful. Mr. Mulliner is delightfully silly By A Customer Mr. Mulliner drinks at a fishermans' bar, the Anglers Rest, where he tells stories about various and sundry relatives. No matter what the topic of discussion, Mr. Mulliner has a story on it and proceeds to enlighten his listeners. There's Buck-U-Uppo, a tonic recommended for elephant hunters but taken by a bishop and his pal. There's the man who sends for a course in farming by tape and mistakenly gets lessons in assertiveness. The plots all become terribly complicated in typical Wodehouse fashion. Since reading this, I have bought a collection of all P.G.Wodehouse's Mr. Mulliner stories. Next to Jeeves and Bertie, they are my favorites.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful. entertaining and fun By K. Powell Read it for summer reading for the University of Texas and really enjoy it. Its easy to read and always entertaining. Wodehouse's stories are full of fun and silliness, not what I was expecting from a college world lit course. I would strongly recommend this book for anyone that enjoys frivolous British comedy.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Chapter 8. Strychnine In The Soup. By nigel p bird Here's a book that glitters. It sparkles with humour and the quality of writing and the pure pleasure that comes across in the telling of this collection of tales.Mulliner hangs about in The Angler's Rest chewing the fat, only there is no fat in the book, rather it's all lean meat.Whatever the subject, Mulliner can relate a tale of one of his relatives who has experienced something similar.There are common threads that possibly relate to the gene pool: the wooing of a ladies, sturdy butlers, gentry, a slightly dizzying ineptitude, swirling messes and genius solutions.As the blurb says, there are a range of subjects covered. Each of them seems rather implausible, but as soon as the tales begin they live and breathe like the best of them.Reading these stories is as close to pure joy as you'll find in a book.The humour drips from the situations and the characters so that I doubt there are many who could read them with a straight face or, indeed, without blurting out the odd titter. Wodehouse can bring a smile simply through his choice of a name.The sharp wit and repartee is ever present.The simile is raised to the level of art.What is particularly pleasing is the way it feels like the author could sit at a typewriter all day, day after day, and produce page after page of the most perfect prose as easily as he might breathe or eat strawberries.If there are faults in this one, I can't find them and I don't really care. Spot them and please don't bother to point them out to this reviewer as I would rather keep the memory of pure pleasure with me for as long as I can.Chapter 8. Strychnine In The Soup.
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Mulliner Nights (Mr. Mulliner Series, Book 3), by P. G. Wodehouse
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Mulliner Nights (Mr. Mulliner Series, Book 3), by P. G. Wodehouse
Mulliner Nights (Mr. Mulliner Series, Book 3), by P. G. Wodehouse
