The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families, by Elisabeth Sheff
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The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families, by Elisabeth Sheff
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Marriage and monogamy are not what they used to be, and today many couples are opting to start families before getting married, or deciding not to get married at all. At the same time, gay couples in states that recognize same-sex marriage are getting married in droves. Some people prefer non-monogamy and have relationships that include swinging and polyamory. The landscape of American marriage and relationships is changing, and a variety of family systems are developing and becoming more common.
The Polyamorists Next Door introduces polyamorous families, in which people are free to pursue emotional, romantic, and sexual relationships with multiple people at the same time. They do it openly and with support from their partners, sometimes forming multi-partner relationships or other arrangements that allow for emotional and sexual freedom within the family system.
In colorful and moving details, this audiobook explores how polyamorous relationships come to be, how they grow and change, how they manage the ins and outs of daily family life, and how they cope with the challenges they face both within their families and from society. Using polyamorists own words, Dr. Elisabeth Sheff examines polyamorous households and reveals their advantages, disadvantages, and the daily lives of those living in them.
While polyamorous families are increasingly common, fairly little is known about them outside of their own social circles or of the occasional media sensationalism. This book provides information that will be useful for professionals with polyamorous clients, educators who wish to understand or teach polyamory, and especially people who wish to better understand polyamory themselves or explain it to their potential partners, adult children, or in-laws.
The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families, by Elisabeth Sheff- Amazon Sales Rank: #45274 in Audible
- Published on: 2015-09-08
- Format: Unabridged
- Original language: English
- Running time: 626 minutes
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Most helpful customer reviews
12 of 14 people found the following review helpful. A true view of a commonly misunderstood lifestyle By Laura Benedict In writing The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families, Elisabeth Sheff tackles a tough topic with objectivity, sensitivity, and grace. Sheff shows that polyamory is a positive family model. With personal experience and fifteen years of research, Sheff presents all aspects of polyamory through a deeply informed lens.I like how Sheff addresses the more positive aspects as well as the less positive. It is incredibly important to understand fully any chosen way of life; whether that way of life is a religion, a diet, or a family model. Sheff discusses the difficulties of defining polyamory, and who practices polyamory. She writes about how adults view polyamory, how children within polyamorous families view polyamory, and how neighbors, schools, and Child Protective Services view polyamory.I especially appreciate her insight into her own experiences with polyamory. It is not easy to transition into or out of a polyamorous relationship, and Sheff opens her life for the reader. This adds validity to her research. Without the personal stories, this would be little more than a long (well written) scholarly review journal article. The personal stories show me that this information is not just a theory rather, a true representation of the lifestyle.While no book can be the definitive presentation (i.e.: the one to read while ignoring all others), I believe anyone researching polyamory should pick up this one. I find it true to life, authentic, and comprehensive.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful. A Polyamory Book for Monogamists By JessicaBurde There is a lot of fascinating information in The Polyamorists Next Door, and many polyamorists will enjoy reading it to see the results of Dr. Sheff’s studies of polyamory. Poly parents will find interesting (and useful!) information in the sections on children raised in poly families.However at the end of the day, this book isn’t written for us. Instead, it is the book polyamory has needed for decades. A book written not for people who want to be polyamorous, but for monogamists who want to understand polyamory. You know the question that pops up in every poly forum eventually “What book can I get for my (parents/friends/siblings/friends) to help them understand polyamory?”The answer is: this oneBrace for Science-SpeakThis is not a coffee table book. This is not light reading. This is a book written by a professional researcher. And it shows. Books like this take me so long to read because academics and researchers are really good at writing for other academics and researchers. Unfortunately, the writing style used in academics and research is not what the rest of us are used to. Complex sentences are the norm in this book. Reading it, there were many times when I had to stop and re-read a seemly simple sentence. “I know every word in this sentence, it is perfectly grammatical. Why can I not understand what she is saying?!”I did, eventually, figure it out.Let me clear say: this is not a criticism of Dr. Sheff’s writing. This is the norm for popular sciences books (as well as philosophy, and several other fascinating subjects). Some professions just seem to lead to a very complicated writing style. (Bill Bryson has written the only popular science book I could easily read–because he isn’t a scientist, he’s a journalist writing about science. See the difference?)If you enjoy popular science books written by actual researchers you’ll find The Polyamorists Next Door right up your alley. If this style of writing is new to you, it may take you some time to adjust. Take it slow, and you’ll get through.Well Worth the ReadThis isn’t a book review blog, so I’m not going to give The Polyamorists Next Door any kind of star rating. I will say that it is a very valuable book that the poly community has needed for a long time. I think it is well worth picking up a copy. Read it, then add The Polyamorists Next Door to your personal lending library. Share with friends, family, and anyone else who is willing to learn more about polyamory.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful. Great book. By BornofAshes This is an excellent book. This book isn't just for people who practice polyamory or are interested in polyamory, this book is just interesting for the sake of understanding alternative lifestyles. This book covers what seems like everything. From pros to cons, conflict resolution, even how it can effect the children involved in the household. I highly recommend this book to anyone who finds interest in alternative lifestyles. This is one of the most fascinating books I've read in quite some time.
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